Discouragement

The title says it all.

I am the master electrician for the current production that is underway at Central College. It's a rather large undertaking involving the hanging and focusing of lights, hooking up the circuits, changing bulbs, installing gels, hanging projectors, etc. The person who takes on this position must have the know-how and the expertise to do all of these things. They also must display excellent leadership skills and be able to delegate tasks to their faithful and diligent crew of well-trained electricians and lighting specialists.

Problem is, I don't exhibit any of those qualities.

I don't know the first thing about lighting, circuitry or any basic facts about electricity. I don't even know the difference between AC and DC current. I'm utterly useless at this job and it sucks.

Honestly, I feel as though I was given this position in order to be mocked. I feel that it was randomly drawn from a hat and tossed my way to fiddle with and see if I could make anything with it. I'm like a chimp with a Rubik's cube or a toddler at the control panel of a NASA rocket. By the grace of some minor deity of chance and happenstance, I could potentially pull this off, but it's very very unlikely. And while I sit there in the case-study room, trying to solve said Rubik's cube with my chimp jaw and teeth, the scientists look on with amusement and scribble down notes.

Hilarious. Really.

Even doing a simple task such as lighting inventory was daunting- and that's just counting the lighting instruments. Simple really, all I have to do is go through and count how many of what instrument we have and check off its number on a convenient little list.

Except I don't know what the difference is between one instrument to the next.

That's only the beginning of the problem. I'm also in charge of a crew that is considerably more experienced than I am and they know it. I can be a leader if I know what I'm talking about. If I don't, the confidence goes straight out the window along with my self-esteem. Pop goes my balloon and the weather guy just stated that there's a 100% chance of it pissing on my parade today.

But I'm learning, slowly but surely, I'm learning. A good friend of mine in the theatre department taught me how to use a circuit tester and how to change lamps and other things. I'm not as self-pitying as I was before, but I definitely still feel pretty discouraged. Why put me in charge of people when I know nothing and they know everything? Why leave me in charge of the lighting inventory with no information?

I don't like feeling stupid.

New projects and a new play...

Where one dies another begins.

It never ends when you live with the arts. As soon as I'm done with one commission, I start another. One play closes, and I audition for another. I know that I'm busy and that all I really want is a break of some sort and the chance to breathe...but slowing down is for losers.

And I always win.

Regardless of it all, no matter how insane my schedule gets, no matter how many meetings and projects I have to do, no matter how many hours I have to put in at my two jobs, I really relish it. I have to. How else do I keep doing this to myself? How else do I swear that "I'm going to take it easy this week" and yet fill my schedule to the brim? I must really enjoy the feeling to being spread to thin and overworked. Maybe I'm a masochist? Eh, no matter.

Because I realized today that I'm happy. I'm happiest when I'm doing something. I'm not a planner and I like flying by the seat of my ass. It's a fun ride. I like being busy, because without it I would surely lose my mind.

So, here's my hope for this blog (now officially attempt number THREE at keeping a blog). My hope is to accurately and genuinely show what's going on in my life in regards to my art, my theatre, my music and the things that make me happy overall. As the title states, I'm a horrible writer. So don't expect Plathe  or anything akin to Old Man and The Sea because my writing level is about as low brow as you can get,  but I promise that I will try to edit thoroughly and check for spelling errors. Beyond that, I can do nothing in regards to literary quality.

And now for something completely different.

Allow me to actually discuss what the title of this entry is about! Yes, new projects are abound and breeding like rabbits. Fall break is upon us and I have much to do, including...

- Finishing my sweater I'm knitting
- Start a fish hat for my friend Jessica
- Visiting friends in the fantastic capitol city of Iowa
- Reading and reviewing a children's play
- Start my chief electrician duties of said children's play
- Start memorizing my lines for my role in children's play
- Bake a pie and possibly some bread.
- Make a baby quilt for my co-bartender, Kari
- Get some actual exercise into my schedule
- Possibly start on a new dress for myself
- Compose several papers
- Build a puppet for my puppetry class
- Create my prompt book for my stage management class
- Research Inuit drum-making
- Help my good friend, Lauren, on a mysterious project of some sort
- All my other basic duties such as class, work, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.

Indeed, I have much to do in a very short span of time. Chances are highly unlikely that it will all get done by Monday, but I think it's worth the effort. I'll let you know if my feelings change by the end of the week...

As the title also states, YES I am in a new play. I just closed one last week and just got cast in another. It's a children's play that takes place in an Inuit village. I play the Inuit mother of the lead character and, yes, I'm fully aware that I look nothing like a Northern tundra dweller. That's why they are dying my hair black...and I'm wearing darker foundation than normal. There is also a possibility for spray tanning...
The gist of the play is that my daughter, the main character who will be played by my WONDERFUL friend Sarah S (I'm so proud of you! You've earned this role!), is born into the village. Now, it's disappointing enough that she is a female and therefore cannot hunt (there are some sexism themes to this show) but she is also pale-skinned and blonde-haired. Yep, it's a play about racism.

Basically the message of the play is-    Racism = Bad    

So don't be racists, children, and if you are you will certainly learn the error of your ways once you see this production.

Despite my slight sarcasm, I really am excited to be in this play. Not only do I get to perform in it, but I get to be chief electrician and am in charge of lighting for the show. I got to design the poster for it as well! It will involve puppetry, an amazing set and should be a lot of fun to perform. Plus, I might get to have sticks braided into my hair to look Inuit-fancy, which is way cooler than just the regular type of fancy.

Thine in the dearest design of industry,
Katie Hughes

PS. How is the orange? Is it overbearing?